Control

I am by no means superwoman! I am not Mother Theresa. I am Jen Lewis, pre-K teacher, student, daughter, and member of the LDS Church and VT Coorindator. Today was a day like most but it ended on a bit of a frustrating note. A child that choose to be very disrespectful to me. He repeatly told him no when I told him to do something. It was the end of the day and so I wasn't as patient as I should have been but he just really got to me. Which I know is the worst thing you can do. Why is it a child loves to see parents or authority figures get upset? I know part of it is attention. I would think, I don't want this kind of attention where I am in trouble, I would much rather get love and praise. I still love and care for this child but it hit a level for me that I felt like I am not going to let a four year old treat me like this. I spoke with my supervisor and said what can I do... she in not so many terms said keep your cool and don't take it personally.

I feel I have come to learn some control but today or at least that moment at the end of my work day I didn't quite have it. Of course no matter what I would not ever hurt a child no matter what.

I am grateful I am learning these things.

I am just really realizing the importance of control in all aspects of my life. If it's not control my eatting habits, It's controling my emotions, using time wisely, SELF_CONTROL and more. All these things would be out the door if it wasn't for the holy spirit and my Heavenly Father. Of course I am not perfect and I am not always in control but I have more control than I use to. My mission and going to school and callings have helped me develop the tools and skills I need to get through everyday.

My personal struggle!

I am human! I struggle to cope with stress in a healthy way! My stress is linked with my stomach! I continue to say I am tired of this but I am a yo-yo in this department! I am sick of eatting my way to happiness but it's not something that can just be magically solved. I want your thoughts and your advice! So far my best solution is to stay busy but than when I settle down I want to eat !

What are some of your ideas that help you with emotional eatting?

My purpose

I smelled a familar smell that triggered memories of someone that was very special to me and very special to me still just not in the same context. I wonder what would have happened if I didn't take this path on I am on would I have been as happy as I am . Yea! I know there are things I can change , and I can do better but I am happy! I feel like I have a purpose! I am going to school , I go to work and work with children everyday. I may not feel like I am making a difference everyday but I am definately do more than just sitting back and watching life go past me. I know that this maybe a common topic on my blog but it's something that is on my mind often. It's also a reminder to me that I am doing to something good and I am not completely useless. I definately don't feel that blogs should be filled with mindless things but things that have substance and meaning to the individual that is writing it and reading it.
I have a deep desire to one day be a wife and a mother! I know that this will come in God's time and at this moment I am comfortable with being single and focusing on strengthening myself and my purpose. I feel that Heavenly Father has blessed me with the opporunity to be around children everyday (even though it can be quite a challenge) to not only gain experience for being a mother but also to be able to feel like a mom. I trully feel that everyday when I walk into work and I have 10 to 20 something children seeking to be taken care of and attention and to be loved.