Life is a learning and growing process.....

I feel like I have learned so much in the last few months about : myself, dating and guys ( just beginning to understand a small amount), life , God's Plan for me and his love.  I have always been one to overreact and over think things. I have learned that the end of the world will not come if you don't get everything cleaned today or you make a mistake. I have finally have realized it's ok to have moments of sorrow and grief or where you just scream as long as they level out and you have more good days where you feel happiness and joy.
               I am still trying to balance my days out but... I feel like understanding these things are at least 1/4 or more of the battle.  I have had kind of lazy day. I didn't get out of bed until late and I got homework done and that was about it.  So I didn't climb Mt. Everest but I got something done and tomorrow is another day. Life is a learning and growing process where will fall but we must keep getting back up. We are all works in progress and we expect perfection in ourselves or others or we will continue to be let down. I am not saying to give up and not believe in achieve great things , I am just saying... we need to be more gentle with ourselves.
          Heavenly Father loves us so much , he sees great potential in us all. One of many struggles is to see that potential in myself . I have always based my happiness on other's acceptance of me rather then loving myself more.  I am writing about this because I know I am not the only one who struggles with self doubt or fear. Heavenly Father sent us here to succeed and not to get out the boxing gloves and start a boxing match with ourselves.  We must make our own happiness in our lives. So our lives aren't exactly the way we expected them to be right now : marriage, family, big house and big yard and more.  Is life ever the way we expect it to be ? If God let us plan our lives would we be trully as happy as we will be with God's plan for us ? I know it's hard  !It's definately especially for me to realize I have to let go of that control in my life.  The Lord wants us to take action to be proactive but realize if we are following his way we have to sacrifice some things like pride and understanding go on faith and know he will take care of you.  I struggle to give that will to God everyday because I want to know what will happen , I want to know the unknown about the details of my life but... guess what I won't know , I have to go on faith and know God loves me and he will take care of me. 

          I have learned that it's ok if you have days where every second of every day you are praying to God for strength because that means you are relying on him and finding strength in him.  As I have done this , I have also seen the hand of God in my life. I remember a day last week where I was feeling really down and it was hard to just get out of bed much less do anything else. I got up and I got on my knees and I prayed. I prayed before I got out of my car at work too. I said get me through this day... give me strength. It turned out that I was able to work with the little babies that day about a year out at my daycare. I was so busy I didn't have time to feel sorry for myself and by the end of the day I got in my car and said wow! this morning I felt like crap and the Lord got me through it by keeping me busy. I said a prayer and thanked him for getting me through the day. I have a great deal to be grateful for in my life : a degree and soon to be two degrees, a roof over my head, family and friends that love me and cheer me on, a car , a full time job with benefits of experience in my career and much more.  I know that it's going to be hard but because the Lord is my strength, I can get through anything.  I am grateful for all the experiences (good, bad, indifferent, crazy) and people that have lead me where I am and made me who I am and helped me learn so much.